It’s a Sunday night, I am watching an HBO max documentary on cults, a particularly interesting topic to me.
A beautiful woman explicates just how she fell into the cult that ultimately ruined her life.
“When I had a good job, I was up. When a relationship ended, I was down. I went through this cycle of up-and-down so much, I just wanted stability”.
Hearing this, I was triggered, frightened and enlightened.
The important message in what she said, lied within tethering ourself to jobs and other people, only to be depressed and lost when these things ultimately end.
- When you’re feeling “up” from a successful interview, affection, shopping or whatever brings you joy , use this to your advantage. Feed into yourself, not the source of whatever gave you a burst. It is important to know that you are the catalyst for your own happiness and you are the resolution for your problems as well. Use those good feelings to create more good feelings, more good moments ahead. An example of this, for myself, is when I feel financially secure, paid all of my bills and still have surplus. At those times, I am “up”, and instead of shopping, I buy crypto or save money for the times in which there is no surplus, which is ultimately inevitable.
- Notice what made you happy and recreate. Your boyfriend told you are the most beautiful , intelligent woman in the world and you believe it, yet, you never tell it to yourself. That is why, breakups can turn into breakdowns. Tell yourself the positive words that make you feel so full when you hear them from others. I promise, it feels even better coming from YOU.
- You’re tethered to something that isn’t viable. We experience feeling down the most when something “good” ends. Was it really good? Or, were you just comfortable? Even if it was good, “all good things come to an end”. YOU will never leave YOU. You may have negative thoughts, but you’d never demean yourself (I hope). The feeling of being “down” is because you lack self-reliance and ultimately, self-esteem.
- You’re on the wrong path. “Go to school”, they said. “Get a degree, work for someone else and make them rich”. In 2020, I realized that I will NEVER be happy as an employee; although a college degree ultimately sets you on the path to work for others, you don’t have to choose that. If you feel unfulfilled and unhappy, even if everything or everyone around you says you should be, seek a new path. Only YOU know, what will turn that feeling of DOWN, UPside down.
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