How was your long, labor-day weekend? Restful, productive, disappointing? I’d say mine was all three. Today’s blog, we’ll focus on that icky feeling when others let you down, as they will. It’s just human nature.
Humanity is DIsappointing.
I am not a misanthrope, anymore. 🙂 I’m just a realist. Humanity is disappointing. A person can show up for you every time except for the one time that matters most to you. Your partner, who loves you, may forget a significant thing, which shatters you a bit. A friend may promise to show up, but failed to. The server may forget to bring you the pepper you asked for 30 minutes ago. These are things that happen, outside of your (the reader’s) control. How we respond to the inevitable disappointment of humans, is what matters.
Do me a favor, and vote on the poll below:
Responding to let-downs
Regardless of your vote on the poll above, it’s reasonable and acceptable to be disappointed at times. You may even want to tell the other person how they let you down (sometimes, its just not worth it), but the most valuable thing to do is foster more self-reliance and less expectations of others. Personally, I’ve had to do this for years and up until recently, it subsided because I felt I had all of the support I never had. With yet another life shift, I’m reminded that my self-reliance is, most reliable. Whatever I need to invest in (currently shopping for power tools…), to be able to do “tough things” myself, outsourcing help with things – I am determined to do. How can you be more self-reliant? This is not to give the finger to someone who let you down, but to uplift yourself and know that while asking for help is great, sometimes, the only help you’ll have is yourself. Self-reliance and resources are so, extremely important.
Help is appreciated, and sought, but it’s not always delivered. And guess what, that is okay! Do you have a back-up plan? Do you have self-reliance? This numbs the sting of being let down, so much.
Are your expectations realistic? Adults struggle with clear communication more than children, in my experience. A 6 year old first grader had no problem telling me “my mom doesn’t like you because you are too young and you don’t have kids”. Yet, we as adults struggle to say “Hey, I really need you to help with this” or “I have high expectations for X, Y or Z”. Why is that so hard for us to explicate?
Let’s all, the messenger and you intelligent, self-investing readers, work on forgiveness, self-reliance and resourcefulness. To understand human nature, is to accept that it is flawed.
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Discuss!