Can you influence someone you love, with love? Not always.
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There’s a story I have of seperation as a result of me pushing someone to “be better”. Yes, they said they wanted better for themselves, but with little to no action being taken, I assumed the role of the reminder, enforcer and even the example. I did not want these duties though. I did these things out of love.
Yet, I failed to understand WHY this person needed so much help to achieve something that was so simple. In the end, the person grew deep resentment towards me, for failing to understand them.
I have also been on the opposite side of this coin and grown resentment towards people that insist, without seeking to understand my individual path, needs and obstacles.
People are influenced when they feel understood, not when they are being forced to understand.
When you insist, people resist. Even if a person wants help, and know that they need help, they will resist you if you push too hard.
This makes you, the person that cares, feels as though you’re suffering.
Establish your own criteria for change.
Once they see you change, then they’ll become curious. Curiosity leads to change.
Growth should always be an individual goal, for our loved ones to join us can be a mere hope at times.
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