If it were not for grief, I may still be sleepwalking through life as a public school teacher, killing my own potential for growth. In such an environment, conformity is the main goal , not growth. I had a hard time honoring my grandparents at my job, although my grandfather died while I was at work 10/2/2020. COVID led to two very rushed funerals for them. Instead of compassion, coworkers would say they heard my tears from the restroom, or even worse – touch my mini urns and cremation jewels without second thought. It truly bothered me. In simplicity, I just wanted my grief to be understood without being asked to explain it (it’s like trying to explain the tech apocalypse to a toddler) :
I have stepped away from trying to “save the world” for a bit, and the above quote really explains why. It is so important to witness the rituals of grief. Momo and I still pray together. We still talk. I mainly only cook the meals I so cherished from her, (I would drive 2 hours every Sunday for that Okra, in the name of Jesus!).
Papa still checks on me, in his own special way. Like, when he’d see a catastrophe on the news across the world and call me to make sure that my doors were locked, checking my tire pressure before I’d drive back to Houston, allowing me to make fun of his shaky Parkinson hands before I truly understood what it meant…
As our friends and family reckon with their grief, and some do so without important witnessing rituals such as funerals, which are part of our healing, it’s important to remind them that they are seen, loved, and not alone.