My black psychiatrist is so handsome…
No , but seriously. He is.
He is very attentive, too.
This morning, his attentiveness revealed something to me that I must share.
7:56 am : I love my team of black mental health professionals but they are all, always, on CPT (see Urban Dictionary). So, I set up my Macbook and ran to the restroom to conceal these eyebrows chile…
7:59 am: “Hi Briana”. WOW, he’s actually on time today! And, I look like who-shot-john-and-forgot-to-kill-him... great.
I run to my computer with orange lines all over my forehead…
“Hello Doctor! I didn’t know you’d already logged on, forgive me“.
He responds, “You look SO HAPPY. What has happened since the last time we talked”?
Me and happy in the same sentence? I heard him very clearly but I just had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. “I look happy?“
8:00 am : I begin to confess to my doctor just what has happened since our last visit in September. My grandfather, died. I also, quit my draining job. It’s safe to assume which of the two has lifted so much weight off of my shoulders. However, for my doctor to notice this before I began to share, with sleep still in my eyes and concealer on my face – I know others can see it. I feel even more encouraged to glow in my unemployment !! His response is very revealing…
8:05 am : “Briana, I am so proud of you. Fridays are my most difficult day, and you just lit my morning up. Yes, you look happy, you talk with joy, and it’s radiating through you.” (are you sure that isn’t my unfinished makeup doc?) “When we last spoke in September, you were so unhappy, you said it yourself. Your posture said it for you. I commend you for stepping away from something that wasn’t making you happy, you have been through enough this year. I could not even tell your grandfather died until you said so. With the holidays approaching, still continue your regimen, but I want to see you back in January with the hope of stopping some of your treatment. You are on a roll right now and only two things can become a detriment to that : 1. the emotions of the holidays and 2. returning back to a job that doesn’t fulfill you.”
Will you choose your job or your mind? There is a direct correlation that is so apparent to me after this visit with my doctor. Consider the 5:00 traffic rush; crazy drivers, honking, and in the city I live in – even shooting. The rush, is to get away from their job and to get home to family, peace and rest.
Will you choose your job or your mind? Do you find yourself skipping lunch for the sake of work only to snack on sugary foods that are, in turn, eating away at your body and mind?
Will you choose your job or your mind? Are you passionate about pursuing something that would allow no space for a job? DO IT. A job may pay your bills, but sometimes, that can come at a cost.
How much does your job pay you?
What is your mind worth , to yourself and others?